FEAR and The Reality Behind it.

FEAR

F.E.A.R  -  False Expectations Appearing Real.

Fear is closely tied to our instincts to survive. If you see a Lion turn toward you and growl. Your senses are telling you that you are in immediate danger. This sends impulses to your body and brain. You quickly become afraid that if you do not do something fast you may end up on tonight's menu. Do you run? Do you stand perfectly still? You quickly assess the situation and decide on the best course of action to keep yourself alive. Fear has taken over and may be the one thing that saves your life from a vicious attack from the King of Beasts. We have only two basic innate fears within us. The first is the sound of a loud noise and the second one is falling. All other fears have been learned.

That is right! All of your other fears have been learned. Some are good, but most are not. Fear is a very very strong motivator. It has to be in order to keep you off the dining list when we used to roam the woods trying to survive against other beasts and predators.

Those early days have all but disappeared unless like me you live in the country where you have to kill a poisonous snake or spot a bear now and again. The fear of losing one's job is in the top five along with your health, family and even religion. There are other fears, but today we will concentrate on these, because they are our root fears where all the others spring from. Let's take a closer look at what makes us afraid. All these root fears have one thing in common. The one major link connecting these and all of your fears is the lack of being in control. If you knew that you would always have money no matter if you worked or not, you wouldn't be afraid of losing your job. If you had the ability to heal yourself at any time of your choosing then you would not worry about your health. If you could protect your family no matter the situation, you would not have to be afraid for them.

All learned fears stem from the fact that we do not feel we are in control of what happens to us. If I were to tell you we are in control I am sure you could come up with a thousand and one reasons to prove me wrong. But are those reasons valid?

If you watch any television these days you are going to be inundated with commercials touting the latest disease and how their drug will cure it or the very least keep it under control. Pharmaceutical companies spend millions of dollars advertising their drugs to the general population. Why do they do this? Profits. If you tell people about a certain disease and you have something that will treat it there are going to be a certain amount of people who will believe you. Play the commercial enough times and those same people will convince themselves they have the disease.

Television commercials are geared to change your belief system. They are there to tell you to believe they have an answer to your problem. If you don't have a problem, they will help you make one up. What is a belief anyway? It is a thought you keep thinking. Have you ever heard someone telling you it (bad luck, a health condition, uncontrolled anger, etc.) "runs in the family?" If you go for a check up, eventually your friendly family practitioner is going to ask you if there is a "History" of cancer, diabetes. dementia or something like that in your family. He believes that heart disease or some other malady that someone related to you has will jump from their body to yours. Maybe not jump, but that since your DNA is closely related to their DNA then you are more susceptible than someone unrelated. Now he didn't just make this up, he has seen it many times. For instance, if your mom and dad have a habit of eating  poor quality food all of the time, smoking, sitting around watching television for hours on end, never exercising and you follow their habits then you may end up with some of the physical problems they are dealing with. If your mother had breast cancer and told your her mother had breast cancer and then looked at you with fear in her eyes then she is creating a belief in you that no matter what you do , you will eventually be dealing with breast cancer yourself. So you walk around worrying about having breast cancer because you think it is out of your control. After all, your mom and her mom had it so it must be hereditary. You tell you doctor what your mother told you and he agrees! Now you have a medical professional who just dealt you a major blow to your belief system.

Reality - And your beliefs system

What is reality?

 Everyone has a different explanation and that would seem appropriate because each of us sees the world in our own unique way. Just look on Facebook when it comes to Politics. I am betting you have friends who agree with the way this Country is run and those who disagree each firmly believing they are in the right. But can both be right at the same time?

We have been taught all our lives that there is a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. Do you think that the "terrorists" believe they are the bad guys? If so, then you better think again. Do you believe that the reason for the Civil War was solely based on Slavery? If so, you better think again. Do you believe that the doctors, politicians, and companies have your best interest in mind? If so, you better think again.

Everyone believes to some extent they are doing the right thing, based upon their own values and beliefs. If England had won the Revolutionary War, Benedict Arnold would have been considered our  hero. Our Founding Fathers would have been executed as traitors perhaps labeled as terrorists themselves. Wow and We Wouldn't have known any better would we? All of our history books would talk about the bands of terrorists roaming the countryside attacking England's villages and killing the King's loyal servants. Oh yes, history is always written by the victors and life would surely be different today, but we wouldn't know any different.

So, what should we believe?

What do you want to believe?

Working for sales company in my earlier years the employees were required to attend a diversification seminar. We were basically instructed not to judge others of diverse backgrounds. Now there was some discussion going on between the instructor and the groups. One fellow of an African-American background told the group the reason his sales were down is because of the color of his skin. He said that his white customers didn't trust him.

I remember about a new middle school built in Richmond where I use to live. It was build without windows in the classrooms. The teachers complained that the students were busy daydreaming and staring out the windows instead of learning the material. So they made the school look more like a prison and remove the windows in the classroom.

What do those two examples have in common?

The biggest problem is seeing the situation as external instead of internal.

I wondered what my black friend would say about all of the black CEOs? Millionaires? Doctors? Lawyers? Politicians? Athletes? Movie Stars? Singers? Dancers? And an American PRESIDENT? How did they achieve such high status in a country composed of more white people than any other race?

When I was in sales if my customer was looking out his window while I was presenting my material then I would know he wasn't paying attention to me. He is telling me that what I am saying doesn't interest him. Perhaps it is the product or more importantly it is how I am presenting the product. Am I making it interesting to him, or am I just going through the motions? If I am just going through the motions then I am not going to be in sales very long. Is this any different when it comes to teaching? The best friend a teacher has are those windows! If her students are constantly looking outside then her material or more importantly her delivery of the information is probably boring the students to tears. So what does she do? Change her delivery or remove the windows?

Don't blame others for your laziness.

It takes work to make the material any material interesting. You may need to take some breaks during the lecture. Young minds (and old one's too) can only remain attentive for 15 minutes at best.

The black salesman seeing a white customer has more than likely pre-judged the man as not trusting him or going to buy from him. What kind of sales presentation do you think he is going to make?

If you believe the problem resides outside yourself, then you must believe others must change for you to be happy. Well, that ain't gonna happen! "Sorry teachers but I had too *S*"

The first step is changing how you think things are which is called your belief system. Your actions closely follow your belief system. So how do you change it? First of all, you must recognize that what you believe has not necessarily been yours, but the culmination of misinformation you have picked up from others along the way. Now remember, they are only teaching you what has been taught to them. So how do you undo it all?

Follow me to Reality Lesson 2 and we will explore why we cling so hard to our beliefs even though many times we know some of them do not serve us.

Namesté

Barry Brown, Author

Why do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

To Buy a New Book from Amazon Click on link Below

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0983090807?m=A1988OFKG3ITG2&ref_=v_sp_widget_detail_page

A question we all ask at times. A good friend of mine, George the other day told me he has cancer. I have rarely seen him say anything unkind to anyone and for the most part seemed to be pretty happy with his life. He married a wonderful lady, lives in a nice home with a pretty good job.

So what happened? "Why me he wondered?" He never smoked, took any drugs or even worked in a coal mine. But this happens a lot to us today. I remember the days when our biggest fears centered on some type of bacteria or virus, but now it is our own immune systems that are letting us down. Our cells are attacking each other. Cancer was hardly heard of back in the 50s and 60s and today a half century later I heard a report that the cancer rate is at an all time high. Some are reporting 50% of us will have cancer at some time in our lives. What is happening?

I have another friend who has always been overweight. Nothing he does seemed to help. Diets, workouts, exotic drinks would help him lose a few pounds, but then he would eventually put them all back on with a couple more for good measure. He finally bit the bullet and had surgery. The physicians put a type of belt around his stomach called a gastric sleeve. He lost the weight alright, if he ate too much he would get sick and vomit. Now he is fine, or is he? Two years later he got caught for shoplifting. He had never stolen anything before. Is there a connection between the two? At first glance we say probably not, but let's delve into this a little further. John loved to eat or did he? Well, food made him feel better about himself. When he was down, he would grab a candy bar or some ice cream. He couldn't do this anymore, so John started buying clothes and stuff instead of eating. This started to cost him more and more money. He soon began to worry about his strained finances. Pretty soon he was in trouble. He wasn't making enough money to cover his new addiction. So he did the next logical thing (to him that is) and that was to continue to reward himself with things and just not pay for them. The problem with John wasn't the excessive eating or now buying, but using things outside himself to calm his inner self. John was eventually caught and arrested for shoplifting and now has a felony record following him which cost him his job.

So what does George and John have in common (and we are not talking about the Beatles.) We'll get to that in a moment.

Let's say you are building a house and no one on your island has any idea what electricity is or how it works. Neither your or your builder. The house is now finished and there are bare wires lying all over the house. The power is now on but the lights don't work and hardly anything else is working like it is supposed to. You have no idea why things in your house aren't acting the way you want them. One day you see some bare wires and decide to move one of them. You hear a loud POP and feel the shock of live current as it travels through your body and it hurts! Later you step on another exposed wire with your bare feet and again you feel the pain of the electric jolt searing your body. Every night you come home from work feeling anxious about living in your own home. You know you are going to get shocked, but do not know when or where. Six months later your body has taken on so much current  you end up in the hospital. They treat you and release you. You are feeling better but the situation hasn't changed and you know you will probably end up back in the hospital again. After a few more bouts with being shocked and hurt you resign yourself to leaving a life filled with pain and anger. You cannot control what is happening and it seems no one else can do anything permanent to resolve this issue. This continues for years until one day you simply give up and prefer to die than to live another day in all this pain.

Sounds silly now doesn't it? Everyone knows the simple fix. Affix the wires to the outlets around your house. Then plug the appliances into the outlets and never stick your finger or anything metal into the openings. But one would have to understand electricity before knowing what do to with it. Once you know its purpose you can use it to make your life better than it was before. But you need to know first.

Picture yourself playing football and not knowing the rules. What are the chances of winning? What are the chances of you getting hurt?

Are the rules of life any different? If we knew what the rules were maybe we could play a better game?

Napoleon Hill's book "Think and Grow Rich" has been a huge success. He interviewed the top wealthy and successful CEOs for years. He found out what their secret was, but his publisher for fear the book would not sell told him to leave out the most important point each man told him. Your thoughts. Yes! The secret is how you think on a day to day basis. So Mr. Hill replaced your thoughts and infinite intelligence with "burning desire." How do I know this? It has been 50 years since the book was out and the original unedited edition was released and I bought a copy of it.

Your thoughts are the energy that creates your world. Your world, your life, your finances, your body's health are nothing more than the result of how you think about them. They all follow your thoughts.

Think about that for a minute. Sign up to follow me and my next blog will discuss ways in which we can take back our lives by using the most powerful engine in the world, our brain.
Copyright 2017

Namaste

Barry Brown

To Purchase "A Journey to Balance - Making Sense of It All"

Amazon click pause then click again on the link below.
 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0983090807?m=A1988OFKG3ITG2&ref_=v_sp_widget_detail_page

Barnes and Noble Bookstore

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-journey-to-balance-barry-brown/1112502825?ean=9780983090809

Relationships and The Law of Attraction

To Buy a New Book from Amazon Click on link Below

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0983090807?m=A1988OFKG3ITG2&ref_=v_sp_widget_detail_page

Relationships and The Law of Attraction

         Back into Balance

Relationships – we want them we need them then why are they so hard?

Why do people who seem so in love get divorced?

What happened?

                            Change?

                                                 Growth?

                    This applies to work and friends as well!

According to balance HR – A bad boss is the main reason most employees leave. I can attest that because two high paying jobs I left due to tyrannical unreasonable bosses. I even left without having another job in queue. It was just that bad.

It is said the best way to find what type of person you are dealing with is to watch how they treat a server like a waiter in a restaurant or if you work directly for them.

Perhaps when we interview with a company we should ask our prospective boss out to lunch.

If he is gruff and demanding toward the waitress, is so then guess what?

A person’s true code of honor is how they treat people who can do nothing for them.

Do you open or hold doors for people?

If someone holds a door for you do you thank them or at least acknowledge the effort?

It is bad manners not to… regardless if you are male or female.

How do you view people?

Do you think highly of those with complimentary views on religion and politics?

Do you think those who disagree with your opinions are ignorant and stupid?

If so, do you ask them to explain their reasons or do you launch your own campaign of why you are right and they are wrong?

       Where is all of this going, you may ask?

How can we have better relationships if we place so many demands on others? 

No one is going to live their lives according to your ideals.

If they do or try to eventually they will come to hate you. 

                                    Why?

Because their purpose in life was never to serve your needs.

My first marriage I tried my best to please my wife, I found out that no matter how many ways I could stand on my head, it just wasn't enough. I learned that it never would be enough. She has to find her own bliss and it isn't making me her clown.

Every relationship can be either beneficial or harmful. It is your choice.

Isn't it about time to take a relationship tune up? ......I think it is!

Do your friends know you? (really know you?)

         Could they tell you what your dreams are?

         Your fears?

         Your inner most thoughts?

Or do they always talk about themselves?

Are you always trying to change them?

Do you think you are smarter?

Do their opinions only matter when it agrees with yours?

What do you want in a friend?

Companionship?

Validation?

A teacher?

A student?

A dog to kick around when your angry?

Ask yourself this one thing. If you lost everything and needed a place to stay and money to help you out for awhile. Who would you ask?

If one of your friends asked you if they need a place to stay and money?

Would you give it to them (no strings attached) or would you loan it to them? (at the prevailing interest rates of course.)

What kind of friend are you? 

       If I asked your friends to honestly express their feelings on what kind of friend you are verses their other friends and I video taped it. Would you?Could you watch it?

Do you expect more than you give?

The Law of Attraction brings to you friends of like vibration. 

The same frequencies. However we do not hold a constant vibration and therefor our friends are varied. You do not hold a constant vibration because in all honesty you haven't been aware of its impact in your life.

No one came down to this earth to take care of you. Quit expecting them too!

Focus on being a friend you would like to have. Nothing more, nothing less.

Raise your frequency, love is the highest frequency of all.

If someone is treating you with disrespect, let them go.

You do not need their sloppy vibrations impacting you.

If someone insults you, demeans you remember it is them..... not you.

                  What causes a swamp?

A body of water that lacks constant change.

Do you have friends like that?

Don’t hang around swamp people. 

They are poison to you.

                 You came here to experience this world and have fun.

Everyone else did too, but maybe not in the same way.

Some want to experience the excitement and horrors of fighting a war.

Movies can represent a mirror of your life

Do you like Horror, Drama, Soap Operas, Violence, Happy Endings?

It is all out there for you to choose.

You don’t have to see their movies and the they don’t have to see yours.

                        Befriend yourself and follow your bliss.

Nothing more from God, the infinite intelligence whatever you call it is required.

 If you turned your radio to a new station and you hated it. Would you complain to everyone about it? Would you protest outside the station demanding change? Would you burn it down? 

Perhaps you just simply turn the radio dial to a station you do like. Let go of having to have everyone act and think like you. 

Let go of having to prove yourself in this world. You are perfect and whole just as you are.

Your job is not to change everybody else and their job is not to change you. You came down here to live your life. To enjoy your experiences no matter what others say about them. 

Remember one thing. When you die and we all have a date with the reaper, are you going to remember how you lived YOUR life on your terms or how you lived someone else's? 

You are never to old to dream

What is the most dangerous animal in the world?

A person who has lost the ability to dream. So what is a dream? Not the kind when you go to sleep at night, but the kind of dreams that gets you up in the mornings. We have all had dreams in life especially when we were growing up. Most if not all of them faded away in the mists overtaken by duty and hard work. For example, earning a living at a job that has become more routine than challenging. Going to the same vacation spot every year even though you yearn for something different. Sitting in front of the television set every night and complaining about why the world isn't acting exactly the way you think it should. FEAR is what kills our dreams. Once we lose our dreams we just become Walking Zombies going through the motions of living. Do you sometimes get the feeling you are doing a Walking Zombie apprenticeship?
            Is being a Walking Zombie dangerous? Maybe not to others, but definitely to yourself. You did not come here to just "play it safe." You came here for the excitement, the adventure this world has to offer. You don't have to go to Spain and "run with the bulls" unless that is your passion, but why not try something new now and again?
          Have you ever wanted to go skydiving, but were afraid? Maybe Hang Gliding? Dancing for instance?
          I used to be a dance instructor during the time when country western dancing was all the rage. I would teach advanced 2-step, West Coast and East Coast Swing among others. Now it is no secret that most women love to dance and most single men want to date single women. Sounds simple, doesn't it? If the fellows knew how to turn the ladies around on the dance floor they would more than likely end up dating more.
       How easy is it to get a guy on the dance floor? I have had some ladies tell it is easier to drag a twelve-year old to the doctor's office. When it comes to guys wanting to learn how to dance just bring up the idea of going to take dance lessons and they will disappear quicker than a hunted fox. Now these fellows played tennis, shot pool, basketball, swim you name it. They can move, but when it comes to dancing? Some will get out on the dance floor and do it "free style" (swinging their arms around and such.) To learn actual moves, basic techniques and then practice them?........ "How about I just buy you a drink? Now will you go out with me?"
        The problem goes back to fear. To take a stranger out on the dance floor in front of everyone and screw up? Oh boy! What if you screw up and embarrass her in front of the whole crowd of people watching. Your friends will have a field day reminding you of that one, won't they? The biggest set back in accomplishing your dreams is the fear of failure. What is even worse is being a failure in front of others, especially if they already have a record of successes. Most guys don't like to lose or look bad. We have had our share of snafus growing up and dancing isn't something we learned back then. To learn how to dance requires going back to the beginning. We all know how embarrassing it was when we first tried to hit a baseball or catch one and that was when we were a kid!
         My wife and I were in Myrtle Beach  many years ago and there was a place called Studebakers. It was a restaurant bar with a staged dance floor in the center. Every now and again a certain song would come on and the wait staff would do some line dancing routines, afterwards it opened to the general public and the waiters would returned to serving drinks.  Buddy Holley's "Rock around the Clock" started playing and I grabbed Sharon's hand. "Let's go." I said. We climbed the stairs to the dance floor and did an East Coast swing. The next song had a latin flavor so we dropped into a Cha Cha and ended with a slow West Coast swing to a Motown's Temptation hit "The way you do things you do." The next song, "60 minute man" by the Dominos was a song the Carolina dancers (Shaggers) know and love. They hit the dance floor in droves. (Shagging is another type of couples dancing very popular in South Carolina.) Seeing dinner getting cold we exited the stage and watched the Shaggers from our table below. After "60 minute man" ended the Shaggers disappeared from the floor as quickly as they came leaving the stage barren as a forgotten ghost town. The line dance wait staff appeared for a quick number and as they were finishing I saw a couple rise from their table heading toward the floor.
        A young man in his twenties walked to the stage pulling his girlfriend in tow. The song had already started, it was a lively little tune and we watched this young Buck reach for his lady's hand. She pulled back in favor of doing it "free style" like she was accustomed. He once again groped for her catching an arm and she acquiesced taking his hand. Holding both hands he tried turning her and moving her around the floor. His legs at times got a little bit tied up causing him to stumble now and again as he twisted one way and the other.  He continued moving her arms up and around turning her to the left and then to right keeping pace to the music. He was having a good time in his new found dancing feet, however she still had some trepidation as they danced. Feeling a little more comfortable he attempted to spin her around and try another "cool" (advanced) move he had seen earlier. Not knowing the basics about framework and turns, he spun her way too fast causing her to completely lose her balance. She started to fall away from him, he pulled her back just in time except he lost his footing and down he went. She regained her composure, stood over him glaring with hands tightly clenched to her hips. The song rambled on as he reached to her for help. She glared at him for a moment longer, turned away and walked off the dance floor leaving him all alone on that big empty stage.
        He rose to his feet, dusted off his pants and before he could walk off the dance floor, there was a thunderous clapping sound all around the bar. It seemed we weren't the only ones to see what happened to this poor fellow who wanted to dance. Who not knowing how at least tried. Every dancer knows that in the beginning the probability of falling is at its highest. Even as you advance, the moves get harder and sometimes one loses his balance.
       The problem in life isn't falling down, it's in the getting up. Like an Olympic ice skater, this fellow had the courage to try even in the face of possible failure and humiliation. That was what made him a hero that night.

There is a hero in each of us if we only let it out. The only way to turn on our hero mode is to turn off our fear button. When those little demons open their mouths and tell you how silly you are going to look or how stupid you are to try just tell them to shut up and go bother someone else. Once you lose your fear of making mistakes, never quitting on your dreams is the day you will find they weren't mistakes after all, but adventures to relive and talk about perhaps even laugh at as the years go by. Success in life goes to those who never quit trying.

                                           " The problem in life isn't falling down, 
                                                                                   it's in the getting up"

This world is for the dreamers. If you tell others about your dreams and they tell you to "Get Real." Remember they were once dreamers too, they have just become scared to follow them, don't make the same mistake no matter how old or young you are.

Reasons we need Workshops

The workshop will be on January 25th for one hour. Why come to a workshop? First off because I'll be there, haha and it's free. More importantly it will give you the tools you need to create a better life or a life that you want to live. Most of us have been brought up to believe in certain truths and ways of living your life. Some of those perceptions need and should be challenged at times. Especially the ones that aren't working the way you want. To change your life you must first change your thoughts and beliefs. Now that is no easy task because if it was then you wouldn't need a workshop to do it. You could just turn off the "I don't like this in my life" switch and boom it's gone. Then turn on the "I want more of this in my life" switch and boom you got it. But that doesn't work because your mind undercuts you at every turn. It says, "Come on. You know better than to believe that? What, you think you can just wish something out of your life? You can just think something into being, are you serious? You'll look foolish when nothing happens. Why don't you quit this nonsense and get back to work and be happy with being a limited person." Your biggest foe isn't anywhere outside you, it's inside. It has grown up right along beside you. It came from others who taught you, your life instructors be it teachers, parents, friends. The reason is because they were taught this when they were young. Their intentions were good, but if you want something more. To life live to it's fullest then it requires action. It requires change and if you aren't willing to open your mind to believing in yourself and your thoughts as having substance then you're not going to get much out of this workshop. But if you are? Then you don't want to miss it.

Nameste'

Barry Brown, Author and National Speaker
"A Journey to Balance - Making Sense of It All"

The Rules of Life

"What are the rules of life? Like someone actually knows?" I can hear people ask. There is only one real rule and everything else is built upon it. "Like Attracts Like." There you go. Everything flows from that basic premise. If you are a positive type of person then you will see and bring that energy into your experience. Have you every wondered why some people just seem to get all the breaks while others always struggle? You are witnessing this law in action. If you are a negative type then you will see and bring energy of a negative type. Things at work, relationships, health and money problems will appear routinely. Have you ever heard the saying about good and bad things come in threes? If you ever wondered if that holds any water, it does. When you experience a situation be it good or bad is when you send out thoughts as a response. Let's say your significant other just proposed and you are so excited about getting married. You began to think about all of the wonderful things marriage will have on your life. Before you know it, your boss just recommended you for a promotion. Now your on a roll. Life couldn't be better you say to yourself and you think since things come in threes there is more. And then you get a call from your mother telling you they are going on a trip and would like you and your fiancé to come with them and they'll pay for it. When the first good thing comes into our experience, we think about it a lot and we focus on the good. That focus is what attracts others of like. Do you know someone who complains about their health? Do you also notice that they are always having health issues? What you think about expands. It expands because like attracts like. Your thoughts are energy and it is up to you whether you focus that energy into what you want or what you don't want. It doesn't matter to the Universe. The Universe just gives you more of what you think about. If you say "I don't want to get sick" your thoughts are on sickness and that is what you will attract into your life. Negative and positives are only an event judgment made by you and therefore do not matter. The energy of your thoughts are all that matters. Let's say you catch a cold or get the flu. You have two options. You can concentrate on how bad you feel or you can say to yourself. I brought on this through my thoughts and I can remove it by changing my thoughts. In fact, I can tell that this is going to be a short lived inconvenience. I am feeling better all ready. I know that I exercise regularly and I eat right and that means I have a healthy body. I love the way I feel everyday, so energetic, so good. Or you can trudge around the house feeling sorry for yourself, focusing on how bad you feel. One will make your symptoms shorter and easier to tolerate while the other will make everything worse. It is up to you and your thoughts. But what about accidents? Victims of certain crimes? Opposites attract? Well, we will discuss those in my next blog. Until then..

Nameste'

Barry Brown, Author and National Speaker
"A Journey to Balance - Making Sense of It All."